Muggle Studies Like No Other
by supafly09
Summary: I AM WRITING THIS LIKE THE 6TH BOOK NEVER HAPPENED! What happens when 7th years have to take Muggle Studies and use the internet?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is my second fic, so bear with me. (No, I haven't abandoned my first one, I just have really bad writer's block)

**Chapter 1: A Computey Whattey?**

"Hey guys," said Hermione as she saw her two best friends, "How were both of you all's summers?"

It took them a long time to answer, they were too busy looking at their friend, she had changed a lot over the summer. She actually looked like a woman, and not the scrawny little teenager that they were accustomed to seeing. She wore a pink Baby Phat halter top with the matching skirt. Her skirt came was a little above half of her thigh, in other words, it was short. She had on some white Phat Farm shoes, with a pink P on them. She also wore pink shoe laces to go with it. She was fitted for real.

"Wow Hermione, you look great." Said Ron, while looking her up and down.

"I agree with Ron, did you do something with your hair? And nice outfit, you look…. American." Harry replied; still baffled at the way Hermione looked.

"Yeah, I thought that I should make a change this year, and also I went to America, and I liked the way that they dressed over there." She said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world for her to suddenly start dressing like this.

"So, did you make Head Girl like I thought you would?" Asked Harry, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Yeah, I did, and guess who the Head Boy is." She said, with a sick look on her face.

"Don't tell me that it's Malfoy, because I will jump off of this train in a hot second." Ron said, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Well you better get to jumping, because you got it right." Hermione said.

"Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Harry asked.

"_Well, when I got my letter, Dumbledore asked me to meet him in Diagon Alley, so we could discuss the things that we would be doing this year," she said, _

_**(Words not pertaining to the flashback)**_

"_**So when I went there, I saw Malfoy sitting at a table, and knowing him he just had to say something to me."**_

_He said, "What's up mudblood, why aren't you in some muggle mall or something."_

_And I said, "Well, actually that's where I would be, but someone told me to come meet them here today, why aren't you off torturing some poor little kid?" _

_And he said, "Well someone asked me to come and meet me here, so that's why I am, and by he way, what the heck are you wearing?"_

"_**Well**, **I was wearing a yellow Rockawear® miniskirt, with this yellow and white shirt, and some Forces (Air Force Ones).** And so I was like, 'It's what muggles wear, it's better that those big heavy cloaks you wizards wear all the time.'"_

"_Well, it actually makes you look cute, I think our girls should start wearing some things like that," he said._

"_**Harry, can you believe he had the nerve to look down my shirt when I was bending over" she said.**_

"_**And then Dumbledore came in." she said.**_

"_So, I see you have now met each other, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger, you are the new Heads." He stated._

**(Back to present-tense)**

"So, that's how I found out that he was the Head Boy." She said, amused by the look on Harry and Ron's faces.

"He looked down your shirt?" Said Ron, obviously mad, even though when Hermione tied her shoe, he and Harry were both looking down her shirt. "I'm going to get that Ferret." He said.

"Well, I have to tell you that worst part, me and Malfoy have to share a Common Room, doesn't that suck?" she said.

"You have to what? What if he tries to do something to you?" Asked Ron, more upset by the fact that Malfoy and her will be spending a lot more time with each other, and that he had never seen Hermione's room, but Malfoy will get to see it.

"I think that I can take care of myself, Ron. What do you think about all of this, Harry?" She asked.

"I think that this is going to be a funny year." He said.

* * *

"Well, that is all of my announcements, so eat!" Dumbledore said.

"Wow, food looks great this year, can you believe that he's making 6th and 7th years take Muggle Studies, and what is a computey whatey?" Ron asked, with confusion clearly shown on his face.

"Well, me and Harry are going to ace that class, and a computer is a muggle tool for communication, information, and fun." Hermione explained.

"Communication? How do you communicate on that thing, it's a box." Ron asked.

"Well, if Harry has one at his house, and I have one at mine, we get on this thing called the internet. And it tells me if Harry is using his computer, you still with me?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think so, so it tells you if Harry is on, and then what." Ron said.

"Well, I can do two things, I can send him an Instant Message, or more commonly called, an IM. All an IM is, is like a short letter, kind of like you are writing a note. And it'll pop up on his computer, and then he responds, you still with me?" She asked, yet again.

"Yeah, so it's kind of like sending an owl back and forth?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, except it's much quicker. Now the other thing you can do is send an e-mail. An e-mail works the same way except it might take them longer to get back to you, and you can send really long letters." She said.

"Oh okay, I get how you can communicate. But I don't understand how you get information off of it. Can you explain that?" He asked.

"Well, you go to this thing called the internet, and it has a lot of different pages. You type something in like, Chicken, and a page will come up with a lot of different pages you can go to learn about chickens, or look at pictures of them, or restaurants where you can eat them. Are you still with me?" She asked.

"I get the idea, but can you explain this so called 'type' (does quote motions with fingers)." He said.

"Okay, you have this thing called a keyboard, and it has buttons on it, and those buttons have letter, numbers, and symbols on them. When you push those letters, they pop up on the screen, and that is called typing." She could understand that Ron didn't understand the 'computer', but this was the last thing she thought she would be explaining to someone.

"Now I understand, and so I'm guessing that if you type in a game, a page will pop up with the game on it, and you can play it, that's how you have fun, on the computer." He said.

"Oh my goodness Ron, I can't believe understood it that quickly, but yes, that's how they work." Harry said.

"I hope you all got filled up, but now I must bid thee goodnight." Dumbledore stated, as he rose from his seat, signaling the students to the door.

"I am so ready for Muggle Studies, I think I'm going to owl my parents and tell them to send me my laptop." Hermione said.

"Here we go again, now what's a laptop?" Ron said, puzzled once again.

"All a laptop is, is a compact computer, it's portable. Hey Harry, do you think my cell phone will work here if computers do?" She asked, contemplating whether she should bring her Baby Phat® cell phone or not.

"Well, I wouldn't suggest that you bring it, I don't think that Ron here can hold anymore Muggle information anyway." He whispered the last part about Ron.

"I heard that." Ron shouted to Harry.

"Well, whoop-de-doo for you." Harry said, sarcastically.

Soon, they arrived at the Fat Lady, and none of them knew the password. However, Neville came up behind them and said, "Drôle." Ever since last year, Neville's memory had improved tenfold.

"Wow, interesting password." Hermione said.

"What does it mean?" Ron inquired.

"It means funny, in French." She replied.

Just as the portrait was opening, Dean came running to the door, and said,

"What's up, 'Mione?" Now this startled Ron and Harry, since when was Dean calling Hermione 'Mione? She didn't even let them call her that.

"Nothing, what about you?" She replied. This nearly made Harry and Ron faint from surprise, she just acted like she was used to him calling her that. What was going on?

"I was just thinking about you." After he said that, he reached out and put his arm around her waist. This nearly killed Ron and Harry, especially Ron.

"Umm, would you mind telling us what's going on here?" Harry asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, Dean and I are going out." She said.

This was going to be a long year.

* * *

**A/N I hope y'all liked it. Y'all know that y'all see that little purple review button, punch it, an write something.**

**-Brianna**


	2. Warts Full of Hogs

**A/N:** Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews that I got, I love all of you all. Sorry it took me so long to update, but I have a lot of things going on, I just used this free time that I have to write a new chapter. So, here it goes!

**Disclaimer:** I woke up this morning and received a message that said, "Hey, Brianna this is J.K Rowling, just to tell you, I own Harry Potter and not you, -evil laughter-."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry and Ron just stood at the open portrait in a sort of daze. Each had different, but the same thoughts going through their mind. Let's just say that one of them felt more than friendly feelings toward Hermione. As they were waiting with the portrait wide open, the Fat Lady said, "Excuse me, but are you two going to come in, or can I close?"

"We're coming; don't get your knickers in a twist." Ron said, still not believing what Hermione had just revealed to Harry and him.

When they got into the Common Room, they found that they didn't have anything to say to each other, well they did, but they didn't know how to say it.

"So Hermione, don't you have a new Common Room or something to go to?" Dean asked, trying to see if he would be allowed to come and see.

"Oh yeah, you just reminded me. Where did I just put those instructions?" She asked, talking to her self as she was rummaging through her pocket. "Aha," she said, while punching the air, "I found it."

When she said that, Dean started shifting his weight around, like he wanted to ask her something, but had no courage.

"Hey, do any of you want to come and see my Common Room, I have a feeling that all of you will be coming there a lot." She said.

However, even though that was true, not all of them liked that idea. Harry and Ron didn't like the idea that Dean was going to be around a lot more, even though they liked Dean, this was a whole different scenario.

"Uh, hello, I was talking to you guys, do you want to come or not, because I'm leaving now." She said, while reaching for the door.

"Alright, I guess we'll go, wait while I go get the cloak." And with that, Harry darted upstairs, at the speed of water, not light because light is too fast. Within seconds he was back, "Okay, I'm ready to go."

"Let's go then."

They all climbed out of the portrait hole and went down the hall and turned left. "It says we should be passing a portrait of a jester right…..now, oh, there he is, Hello sir." She said.

"Bonjour, I take it that you have found your way here just fine?" He asked, acting like he was hiding something.

"Yes, but the last part of my instructions says to ask you how to get to my next portrait, so can you tell me." She asked, not liking the way this was going.

"Well, I have a riddle for you, and if you solve it, it will get you to your next destination, so here it goes," he said, clearing his throat,

"You're in a boat on the ocean,

And you dropped your Magic Potion,

But if you get in the water,

You'll need some Magic Lotion.

So you dive into the sea,

And what do you find?

You find a big blue bee,

And you leave it behind."

"What the heck was that, how is that a riddle, even though it did rhyme. How am I supposed to find a portrait by that?" Hermione asked.

"Well continue north and you'll find out what I'm talking about. You'll see what it means in due time grass hopper, in due time." He said, with an amused expression on his face.

So they continued down the hall, but they came to a fork. "That stupid jester, and his riddles, I," She was cut off by a near by portrait.

"Are you Ms. Granger?" The portrait asked.

"Yes I am, oh I get the riddle now." She said, because the portrait was of a little girl who lost her potion, and it was a picture of the ocean.

"Well, this clue is more direct than that horrid jester's; wouldest thou like to hear it?" The portrait asked.

"Yes we would, Ms." This time it was not Hermione that spoke, it was Dean, he was getting impatient.

"Well, no need for thou to be hasty, here it goes." She said.

"You need to take a left,

To reach your destination,

But if you take a right,

You'll see a congregation.

If you stay with me

You want come to any harm

Because I have the key,

And I have the charm."

"Okay thanks, so I take a left and I'll be there?" Hermione asked, hoping that the answer was a yes.

"Yes dear, you'll know when you come to it, and might I suggest that when you get there, these young men stand back so you can say your password." And with that, she started swimming again, in search of her magic potion.

"Well, I guess that's a good idea, I don't think I should tell all of you my password, at least not just yet." And so with that, she took the left fork, and walked hastily down the hallway, eager to get to her new home.

"Harry, this pathway looks oddly familiar, doesn't it?" Ron said, trying desperately to remember when they had come down this way before.

"Hey guys, I think that's it," she said, seeing a portrait of Gryffindor and Slytherin with a Head badge in between them.

"Yeah, I think you're right Hermione, well, I guest we'll stay here while you give the password.

"Okay, cool," She said, while walking towards the portrait, "The password is _otium amor_."

"Filthy muggle born, it's a shame what they are letting into Hogwarts these days," he said, and he was still continuing on until Gryffindor silenced him.

"Pay him no mind, you may enter." And with that, the door opened and revealed a marvelous room.

The room had high ceilings, and oak floors. Actually, everything was oak, the desks, the tables, and the book shelves. Hermione was pleased to see that there was plenty of room for all of her books, and nice study table in the corner. On the farthest side of the room was a huge window, it had the best view one could dream of. You could see the lake, the forest, and the Quidditch field. She could tell she was going to love it here.

"Wow, Hermione, this place is simply, dashing." Harry said, not daring to believe that her and Malfoy got all of this, hold on, her and Malfoy?

"Yeah, I know, this place is so big I'll probably never see Malfoy." She said, but maybe she spoke too soon.

"I don't see why you're so happy, a lot of girls would kill to have the opportunity to live in the same place as me for a year." Malfoy said, coming out of a hidden room, probably his bedroom.

"Well, I'm not most girls, but anyway guys, let's go see my room, okay?" She asked.

"Wow Granger, Why do you have to take all of these guys to your room, I didn't know you were that much of a freak." He said, clearly in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter to you what I do, and what I don't do, okay." She said, running up the marvelous oak staircases that were highly polished.

When she opened up the door to her room, she nearly fainted, it was simply exquisite. She had a huge king sized bed, decked out in red and gold. It was also a canopy bed, so that was a plus. She had one of the biggest book cases you would ever dream of, two desks (oak of course), and a huge walk-in closet. It was then that she noticed two doors, she knew that one of them was the bathroom, but what was the other.

"Wow 'Mione, this room is great!" Dean exclaimed, and while he said that, he was thinking _"Maybe I'll get to use that bed sometime this year."_

"Yeah, but I wonder what those doors go to, want to go look?" Ron asked, to nobody in particular.

"Yeah," Replied Harry, turning the handle to the first door, "It's only a bathroom, what about the other one?"

"Hold on, I'm," he said, but he was lost for words, "Hermione, they gave you your own library!" He exclaimed.

When he said that Hermione said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

"Hey 'Mione, what is that thing over there in the corner, is that a computer?" Dean asked.

"Yes," she exclaimed, "It got her fast!" She said, plugging it up.

"So this is a computer," Ron said, looking at the computer as though it had a disease, "It's kind of ugly looking."

"Well, I'm about to get on the internet, so if you all don't mind, y'all can leave or stay, what'll it be?" She asked, logging in.

"I think I better go." Harry said.

"I think I'm going to stay." Dean said.

"_I don't want to leave Dean and Hermione in hear alone, maybe I should stay." Thought Ron._ "Well, I'm staying, I want to see how this thing works, I've never seen on before." Ron said, not looking at Dean.

"Well, let me see who's on."

**Welcome to Warts Full of Hogs Chat Room**

jrentriponeur has signed in

**jrentriponeur**: is anyone here?

I know that was a sucky way to end, but my show is on, so REVIEW!


	3. Don't Get Your Knickers In A Twist

**A/N: **Desperately sorry for the two month wait, but I'm really trying to get REALLY good grades. Magnet schools are really tough. Some people were confused with **jrentriponeur, **it was just my desperate attempt to spell 'Junior Entrepreneur' Enough of my excuses, here goes the story.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any part of Harry Potter, because if I did, Dumbledore would still be alive and……..well, that'll be a future fic.

**Jrentrepeneur: **Is anyone here?

**DEnomore:** I am.

**Jrentrepeneur: **wats with the name?

**DEnomore:** figure it out yourself.

**Jrentrepeneur:** well sorry, wat has ur knickers in a twist?

**DEnomore:** I don't wear knickers

**Jrentrepeneur:** …….so, wat House are u n?

**DEnomore:** couldn't u guess? Ima snake

**Jrentrepeneur:** ugghhh….

**DEnomore:** U probly u a bloody Gryffindor, all loyal and stuff

**Jrentrepeneur:** well, u got that right, Ima Gryffindor, and I'm loyal

**DEnomore:** I shoulda known, ur a Pothead supporter, aren't u

"Hey, what's this conversation have to do with Harry, tell him to come out right now and I'll show him a thing or two." Ron said as Hermione and Dean giggled.

"You can't come out of a computer, Ron, it's an object." Hermione said between giggles.

"Well, seeing as how I'm not Muggleborn, I wouldn't know, so would you kindly stop laughing at me?" He said.

"_I wish they would shutup, here is the girl of my dreams with one of my friends, it hurts to see her taken away from me like that." Ron was thinking, not liking the way they were still giggling._

"Sorry Ron, sometimes I forget." She said, going back to her conversation.

**Jrentrepeneur**: Don't call him Pothead, I heard Slytherins are the ones who actually smoke pot in their Common Room.

**DEnomore:** Who told you that? I'll kill them….they shouldn't be letting out our secrets like that.

"Wow, so it's actually true? I was just playing." All of the three started laughing, Hermione accidentally started pressing all the buttons and sent something.

**Jrentrepeneur:** djaojdsakdmnlsaj adjc jsadjmacjcpo

**DEnomore:** ………………………………..eh?

**DEnomore:** and they say you're smart…actually that's Ravenclaws

**Jrentrepeneur:** I bet I'm smarter than you, I'm the smartest in my year.

**DEnomore:** And what year is that, probably not my year, cuz the one in my year wouldn't even be on this thing, she has her nose in a book 24/7

"Hey 'Mione, that sounds like you." Dean said, stating the obvious.

"Naw duh Dean, I bet this is either Malfoy or Blaise you're talking to." Ron said, unbeknownst to him, he was right.

"Probably not, Malfoy wouldn't dare touch this computer, it's muggle made, and you could say the same for Blaise." Hermione said.

"Yeah." Dean agreed.

"_Well, the BOTH of them just knocked my idea away…..TOGETHER, it would be so funny to see Hermione's face when its Malfoy or Blaise." He snickered inwardly._

"Yeah, I guess I was just being stupid, it's probably just some other guy." Ron said.

"Hey, look at the time, Ron you should've been back already. It's after 10." Hermione said.

"Oh crap, well I know secret passages, Filch'll never catch me, Bye Hermione. You coming Dean?" he asked.

"Naw buddy, I think I'm going to stay here for a little while longer, okay?" Dean said.

"_You ain't my buddy, don't call me that!" _

"Okay, buddy." Ron said, emphasizing the last word.

"Bye Ron," Hermione said, waving frantically as he walked nearer to the portrait, but he stopped, and she didn't know why.

"Ron, I thought you were leaving." Hermione said, but Ron had froze.

"Well well well, what have you and Mudblood been doing, it's after curfew, I could put you in detention, couldn't I?" Malfoy drawled, crawling threw the portrait door, with his hair strangely messed up, and his robe crumpled in places.

"For your information, Malfoy, we haven't been doing anything, I was just on my way out." Ron spat back, with as much disgust as possible, too bad he spat a little too much, and sprayed Malfoy.

"Disgusting Weasel, I think I'm going to put you in detention for that." Malfoy said, quickly pulling out a bottle of hand sanitizer and wiping his face and hand with it.

"What the heck is that, I've never heard of hand sanitizer." Ron said, thoroughly bemused.

"Well, it's a muggle thing, they actually have some good products, I give them less credit the I should. Us purebloods carry them around incase dirty things touch us, like Granger, if she ever touched me, all I have to do is put this on, and it'll get rid of her germs." Malfoy said, oddly pleased with himself, for things that went on earlier that night.

"For your information, Hermione doesn't have germs, she's touched me many times and look at me, nothings happened." Ron said.

"The fact that she touched you and you look like that doesn't comfort me much, if you want to know the truth." Malfoy drawled.

"Well, for you to buy that, you would have to go into a muggle store, use muggle money, and talk to an actual muggle. For you to get that money you would have to go to a muggle bank." Ron said, emphasizing each and every muggle that he said.

"So." Malfoy said, starting to look at the hand sanitizer bottle with pure disgust.

"Do you know what the dirtiest thing in the world is, Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"…….Eh……?"

"Money. Think about it, when you buy stuff, you give it to the person, and the chain goes on, some pieces of money are like 50 years old, and think of how many people touch it, and you think that Hermione is dirty, the money that you have, is actually VERY dirty, so think about that next time you crack jokes on her, okay?" Ron said, with a grin of satisfaction on his face.

"Wow Ron, that was absolutely beautiful, I didn't know you had it in you, you usually let your fist do the talking when it involves Malfoy." And with that, she jumped on top of him and gave him a big hug.

"Yeah Ron, thanks for taking up for my girl, it's all good." Dean said, even though his face said the opposite, as he crawled out of the portrait hole.

"Wow Weasel, after all these years, you still didn't get the girl, I mean, some guy I don't even know gets her, is he even in our year?" Malfoy said, disregarding the fact that Ron just talked real bad to him.

"Put a sock in it, Ferret." Ron said. _"But he does have a point, I mean who is Dean, where did he come from? He's not even popular, how did he and Hermione meet?" _Of course all of these were questions that he was dying to have answered.

"Well Hermione, I think I'm going to go, before Filch can get me, even though I'm sure he's going to get Dean, Dean doesn't even know any secret passageways." Ron said.

"Our school has secret passageways?" Malfoy asked, clearly dazzled.

Both looked at Malfoy, and laughed, together which made Malfoy feel…odd. Malfoy's were better than everyone else, no one knew something that he didn't.

"Duh Malfoy, where've you been, of course this school has secret passageways, it has secret rooms too. What did you think the Chamber of Secrets was?" Ron said.

"That's enough Ron, I think that we've had enough fun for one night, I think you should be going." Hermione said.

"Night Hermione!" Ron said, and with that, he crawled out of the portrait hole, for good this time.

**A/N: **I promise to try to get this next one out sooner, okay. I might even start writing it tomorrow. It's 12:45 in the morning so I'm going to bed. I know it's short, but at least it's something, oh yeah, sorry for making Dean just out of place, but I think he's a really cute guy and since J.K. doesn't do anything with him, I have a lot to work with. I can mold him to do my personal bidding, NIGHT ALL!


End file.
